I’ve gotten some feedback on the former post that I should name the stylist or at least the salon.  After thinking about it, I’ve concluded that that makes sense.  God knows I don’t have the readership to affect his business, but I don’t think he gets to make statements like that anonymously.

It was a guy named Marvin at the Matthew Morris salon.*

If I had had my wits about me — and the ability to freeze time for 18 hours while I composed my response — this is what I would have said to Marvin instead of just waving my civil rights lawyer cred at him.

Marvin, I wish I’d said, I’m guessing you said that because the people in the group home make you uncomfortable.  It’s very clear — since you told me this — that the recovering alcoholics scare you, and make you concerned that the fears of any family to whom you might want to sell your gorgeous house would drive down the sales price.  As you thought those things through, and came to conclusions about how you viewed the developmentally disabled and recovering people who wanted to live in your neighborhood, did you ever stop to think that discomfort and fear are exactly precisely what cause many people to discriminate against gay men and lesbians?  Change the setting and characters, and we can both easily imagine a group of homeowners in a conservative community talking about their gay neighbors in exactly the tones and words you used.

Don’t just “take them food at Christmas.”  Knock on the door.  Introduce yourself.  Get to know your neighbors.  Try to include them in your community as you would hope gay men and lesbians would be included in any community in which they chose to live.

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* One of the reasons I hesitated to name the salon was because its owner just won some sort of reality show contest.  Don’t know which way that cuts.  (Sorry!).