My wonderful husband organized a surprise party for my 50th birthday and my wonderful brother brought a bunch of hilarious family photos. Here, for example, don’t we look like the photo in the newspaper after one of us shoots the other three?
In the resulting Lifetime movie, I’d definitely be played by the early Christina Ricci, reprising her role as Wednesday Addams. Early Ricci both because in the Addams Family movies, she was the absolute master of the pre-teen, smartypants, fuck-off attitude to which I aspired throughout my childhood, and because after her Addams Family roles she, um, developed, so the verisimilitude would be less compelling. Still, this has to be one of my favorite scenes in all of moviedom:
All in all, I like her braids better than my combover. There was simply no time in human history when that was fashionable on an 8-year-old girl.
Bruce, of course, is nothing like Puglsey Addams. In fact, isn’t he ADORABLE! Brothers — they’re so cute at that age! Before they grow up to be (sigh) Republicans.
From our group mugshot above — and of course from growing up in the same household with him — I imagine he’d be played by the kid who played the son in The Ref:
Seriously, compare that face with Bruce’s above. Good likeness AND this is the teenage kid who takes his dysfunctional family in stride by developing a lucrative talent for business. Sounds like Bruce, eh? That the kid’s business was blackmailing his military school administrators with dirty photos is, um, beside the point.
Seriously, though, you have to watch The Ref. BEST CHRISTMAS MOVIE EVER. Best. Ever.
As for my folks, I just have to blame the photographer. They are/were both good looking people, and we were only ordinarily dysfunctional, not actual axe murderers, as portrayed in this photo. Had no one invented the concept of “Cheese!!” yet?
Just to show that we did, in fact, know how to smile: cousins!!
Thought Snax 
Frightening to consider the following: A) that “50” is even a conceivable age for you; and B) that you are older now than your parents were in that photo.
Mind blown. Going back to my version of reality where I’m not this old and I’ll NEVER be as old as my parents.
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Great Addams Family scene – love the triumph of the lib point of view! Picture of the cousins is great, too. I am clearly the odd man out, hair-wise.
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I laughed and laughed and laughed and laughed. Oh, we should all post our old family photos. To be as much fun as the Addams family is a good thing, I think.
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I have no clue how I missed this blog. Sometime I’ll figure out how to subscribe so I’m not a month behind. While I don’t feel like my “right” moves need any justification or explanation, I will say this. If you dress a kid like Alex P. Keaton, how exactly can you expect him not to become Alex P. Keaton?
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