Chicken and hate

I am not, repeat not, a biblical scholar.  In fact, my sum total of Bible-reading consists of (1) Christmas with the in-laws,* and (2) being stuck in a hotel room without a novel to read myself to sleep.  I do feel qualified to opine on fast food chicken, though, because I love junk food.  The best fast-food chicken is — objectively and indisputably — Popeye’s.  Why?  Grease and flavor.  Sure the Colonel’s chicken is good because it is thoroughly battered and bathed in grease.  But Popeye’s has that plus a tasty, spicy flavor that puts it over the top.  All this is to say that my total boycott of Chick-Fil-A** for their hate-based policies will  have precisely zero effect on their bottom line.

This woman, however, sounds like she could require an extra line on their next annual report.  Plus she knows her Bible.

The long and short of it– on 8/1 (the day Mike Huckabee wants Chick-Fil-A supporters to patronize the restaurant) go to Chick-Fil-A. Ask for a large water and nothing else. See if they adhere to Proverbs 25:21[***] and give it to you. If they do, yay! You took a few cents from their hate fund! If they don’t, well…I guess they’re proving their principals aren’t so “biblical.”

My favorite comment was:

The point is CHRISTIANS are ONLY under the NT not the OT! So her point was invalid on bringing up the OT when that law was abolished 2,000+ years ago.

So, I’m confused:  the Ten Commandments don’t apply to Christians?  That actually explains a lot, for example, the fact that the murder rate and the rate of both divorce and teen (presumably out-of-wedlock) birth is higher in more conservative states.  Scholars have attributed the latter to economic, historical, and other scholarly factors, but perhaps it’s simply that God repealed the Ten Commandments and the Blue States didn’t get the memo.

Balloon Juice also had this excellent photo:

Though again, for the record, KFC is only the second-best batter-dipped, grease-soaked chicken.  Popeye’s is the way to go.

*****************
* Sorry, guys, but you knew I was a heathen**** when I started dating Tim.

** When I first saw a Chick-Fil-A sign sometime in the 80s or 90s, I seriously thought it was pronounced “chick filla” — rhymes with Godzilla — because I could not believe anyone would be so backward as to be unable to say or spell “filet.”

*** “If thine enemy be hungry, give him bread to eat; and if he be thirsty, give him water to drink”

**** OK, not total heathen.  I’ve summarized/made light of my own religious views elsewhere on the blog.

6 thoughts on “Chicken and hate

  1. Kevin Williams

    F#@k Fil-A! First, respectfully, King Soopers fried right out of the oven beats even Popeye’s. So deny, but affirmatively state Popeye’s sides are way better. Second, is there a religious significance to putting pickles on chicken? Always seemed weird and requires justification. Third, is she married — in the biblical sense or otherwise?

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  2. Rodney North

    Ok, I’m no biblical scholar either but as a boy I did go to Sunday school, & attend Sunday Services, and even Summer bible camp a yr or two–all at a Southern Baptist Church, complete with an real fire-&-brimstone preacher who pretty well terrified the congregation (or at least me) with images of our inevitable damnation.

    During those years I remember encountering various kinds of weirdness in the Bible that induced cognitive dissonance with my 10 year old mind. And as a grew older the dissonance only increased.

    At the time I was most bothered by the awkward juxtaposition of Christ’s teachings and God’s violent streak. While it was largely an Old Testament/New Testament divide, we were still instructed to revere, and follow, the whole thing, not just the choice bits.

    Now the Chick-Fil-A folks, and their ilk, and their insistence upon imposing upon the rest of us a Christian, and more specifically a “biblical”, definition of marriage raises for me again this problem of incoherence. If one actually reads the Bible one sees that in it marriage, and the strict rules around who can marry whom, and who MUST marry whom, and what happens within these marriages, is far from what any American could endorse with a straight face (unless maybe they were strict adherents of Sharia law – which in turn would create some real messaging challenges for those opposing gay marriage).

    John Stewart did a good bit on this last week, but here’s an more detailed chart that makes the pt quite clearly.
    http://www.lipstickalley.com/f83/marriage-clearly-defined-bible-right-416635/

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  3. rodneynorth

    I didn’t realize that the video (which is excellent) also discussed some of the Bible’s extreme definitions of what’s a proper/acceptable marriage. But if you don’t have 5 minutes to watch the video the chart is a handy substitute.

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  4. Jenny

    It may shock Amy for me to comment on anything other than puppy pictures,* but as a biblical scholar I can’t resist plugging a book by my friend Jennifer Knust, a professor at Boston University School of Theology, Unprotected Texts: The Bible’s Surprising Contradictions about Sex and Desire (http://www.amazon.com/Unprotected-Texts-Bibles-Surprising-Contradictions/dp/0061725390/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1343657393&sr=1-1&keywords=knust%2C+jennifer).
    *We expect to have a black lab puppy join the household in a few weeks–the cats are thrilled, as you can imagine–an addition to the family that will either mitigate or intensify my obsession with pictures of other people’s dogs.

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    1. Amy Robertson Post author

      I deeply love the title — Unprotected Texts — even if I never have the energy to read the book. And congrats on the puppy! Hoping for a steady pipeline of cute puppy photos!

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