There is an amazing variety of people in Las Vegas:  young; old; fat; thin; rich; poor; barely-clad; wildly overdressed; fancy; schleppy; drunk; sober.

Middle-aged ladies in Bryn Walker linen and Børn* sandals are, as a general matter, not one of those categories.  At my age, I would  fit in better in either (1) dyed-brown  helmet-hair and Talbots; or (2) a dyed-blonde bouffant and stretch capris.

Corollary:  I can’t go shopping in Vegas because casino shops generally don’t have Bryn Walker,  Børn, Lands End, LL Bean, or Best Buy.

New business plan:  The Introvert Hotel and Spa.  Next door to — but separated by weapons-grade soundproofing from — an ordinary casino, the IHS will feature quiet, sunny, reading areas with quiet waitstaff quietly bringing you umbrella drinks and quiet spa facilities where quiet massage therapists deliver relaxing, yet quiet, massages.  Projected client base:  nerdy introverted spouses of nerdy introverted poker players.

Related observation:  MGM moved its poker room from the former, centrally-located, area next to what I think was a strip bar with a limited playlist of brain-liquifying techno music, to a side area that was quieter than the entire rest of the casino.  Perhaps the MGM has realized that poker players are different from the rest of their slot-playing, beer-bong-toting, bachelor-party-reveling patrons.

Unrelated observation:  Who on God’s green earth brings their infants and toddlers to Vegas? It can’t possibly be fun for either the kids or the parents.

Lobster corn dogs: just the wrong amount of wrong.

Gatorade looks awesome in a wine glass:

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* Yes, I enjoyed finding the “ø” in WordPress, but then you knew that.