Here at Fox & Robertson World Headquarters, we’ve spent a lot of time figuring out how not to travel.  I could list all the reasons but let’s face it, travel sucks.  And travel sucks worse in a power wheelchair than just ordinary suckdom.  “I’m sorry sir, we left your wheelchair on the runway in San Francisco; it will be here on the next plane.”  etc etc.  I’m pretty sure Tim at least got some serious drink vouchers out of that one.

But the good news is:  the results of our extensive anti-travel research can save the world from the TSA gropers … and hours of family tedium too.  I present:  the video conference Thanksgiving!

This is how we do depositions now; why not family dinners?  Instead of schlepping through airports and spending money on hotels just to ask some clown a couple of questions under oath, we drive 10 minutes to Hunter & Geist where our buddy Dan sets us up in front of a video monitor with all sorts of fun remotes to play with.  In addition to not traveling, and being back home by dinner, this system offers a number of other advantages, like only having to dress up from the waist up.  (I do recommend *dressing* from the waist down, but you only need to wear a suit from the waist up.)

With this same technology, you can enjoy a happy Thanksgiving with your loved ones from around the country without anyone having to travel:

But wait!  There’s more!  When Thanksgiving dinner starts to sound like this:

That’s where the remote comes in.  For example:

One button that would be very important to me:
And what a time saver the picture-in-picture feature is!

But here’s my favorite feature:

It’s sort of like chatroulette:  you push the button, and you can completely bail on your family for a random different family.   For example, perhaps you prefer a more traditional family:

Or a happy family:

Or a cartoon family:

Or simply a family that gathers for Thanksgiving dinner in their underwear:

All of these things are possible — without [unwelcome] groping — through the miracle of videoconferencing.