Author Archives: Amy Farr Robertson

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About Amy Farr Robertson

Civil Rights Lawyer. Dog Lover. Smartass.

How to ensure that your lefty Jewish friends do not take you seriously.

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I do not have the knowledge — or the kevlar underwear — to opine on the situation in Gaza, but I’ll say this:  nothing seems better designed to ensure that Jewish lefties simply tune you out than the choice to use inflammatory — borderline anti-Semitic — language.

I’m a liberal and a Jew, and would be the natural audience for arguments that Israel has — what’s the technical foreign policy term? — seriously fucked up this time.  But when I hear words like “genocide” or “apartheid” or see images of Israeli politicians with blood on their hands, I don’t think, “Hmmm, that person has an interesting point I should think about.”  I think, “asshole.”  Or, with slightly more nuance, “grandstanding asshole who is more interested in left-wing tribal solidarity than actually having a rational dialog.”  And ultimately:*

Image: Graphic of the small toolbar from the upper right side of a web browser that offers the choices of minimize (a flat line), restore (two small squares), and close (an X), with a red arrow pointed to the X.

 

 

 

 

I know this can be said of almost any fraught issue in American politics today.  If you say either “baby killer” or “the government wants to own my uterus” you are not interested in having a rational discussion about abortion; you are expressing tribal solidarity.   I’m firmly convinced that tribal solidarity drives most political opinion.  Once you’ve identified as a Republican and that has become part of your identity, it’s hard to say, “you know, perhaps we should treat children arriving at our border with compassion.”  Your tribe has made it a mark of in-group-ness to decry these children as shock troops of an invading horde of Obama-inspired future Democrats,** and taking a contrary position would be as hard as making a Red Sox fan cheer for the Yankees.  It is similarly hard, I think, to get most Democrats to even admit that people who oppose abortion might do so from deeply-felt, well-thought-out reasons and not simply because they hate or want to suppress women.***

So ultimately if your goal in discussing the situation in Gaza is  just to express tribal solidarity with your co-opinionists, go for it.  Use whatever inflammatory language makes you feel like part of the in-group.  If you actually want to have a rational discussion with people who just might share some of your lefty views, you might want to reconsider.

***********

* Well, no, ultimately what I feel is fear, because historically when people start down this road, things do not end well for Jews.

** Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

*** Two additional notes about this.  First, these two examples are in no way intended to suggest some sort of faux balance.  In my view, Democrats remain largely right, policywise, and Republicans largely wrong.  Second, I think tribalism is stronger on the right than the left because one of the substantive values of the right is conformity, while one of the substantive values of the left is iconoclasm.  Which makes it all the more ironic and, to me, disappointing to hear left-wing tribalism.

 

 

We got to meet the President!

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Image: President Obama next to Tim Fox (white man in suit and tie sitting in wheelchair) and Amy Robertson (white woman in suit and scarf).

For all the griping I hear on the left and right, I remain a huge fan.  It was an amazing moment for me, so I’ll be enforcing a “Thumper Rule” for comments:  “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.”

I love “cis” and “neurotypical” and “non-binary.”

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Because they reject the default setting.

“Cis” is the opposite of “trans,” as in cisgender, meaning (more or less) “identifying as the gender that [society tends to] correlate[s] with the body parts you were born with.”

“Neurotypical” is used to describe people who are not on the Autism spectrum. 

[Update from the comments:  Unstrangemind explains that “neurotypical is the opposite of neurodivergent. The opposite of Autistic is allistic. I know many people who are allistic but not neurotypical.”   I love this even more — two different ways of rejecting the default setting.]

Both of these terms reject the concept that the opposite of transgender or autistic is “normal,” and I love them for precisely that reason: they reject the default setting.

I love reading the thoughts and experiences of people who are trans, or autistic, or non-binary, which is being “on the spectrum,” but just another spectrum. I love that parents are more and more open to listening to kids who don’t want to live as the gender they were physically assigned.

I love fat activism, which says beauty norms are contingent and health and happiness come in many shapes and sizes. The fact that we now insist that women have flat stomachs and men have six-packs seems as random as fashion, and as open to change if we all open our minds.

I love universal design, which says you can build a structure for every body, not an archi-typical structure that you then have to retrofit to accommodate people whose bodies and abilities don’t fall within a narrow part of that spectrum. A structure that accommodates all of us from the start.*

Why, I’ve asked myself, would a cis, largely neurotypical, straight, nondisabled, averaged-sized person find these concepts so compelling? Because they reject the cubbyholes society creates for all of us. My theory is that every time a trans*, autistic, non-binary, fat, and/or disabled person makes society pry open its language and — following close behind** — its minds, we all win. It pushes back against the default setting and makes it easier for us all to be who we are and find or create our own cubbyhole, or none, or multiple.

I love Robot Hugs pretty much any day, but this comic was timed perfectly for this post, which had been rattling around in my head for a while.

2014-07-21-Gender Rolls

Image description by the artist:

GENDER ROLLS:

Daily Gender Check:

Roll Three:

Roll 1d8

1 – Agender

2 – Genderqueer

3 – Trans

4 – Genderfluid

5 – Cis

6 – Non-Binary

7 – Questioning

8 – Bigender

Roll 1d10

1 – Dapper

2 – Femmetype

3 – Twinky

4 – Sophisticate

5 – Androgynous

6 – Leather

7 – Flexible

9 – Queerdo

10 – Nonconforming

Roll 1d12

1 – Princex

2 – Dragon

3 – Beefcake

4 – Shortcake

5 – Dudebro

6 – Gentleperson

7 – Cumberbatch

8 – Butch

9 – Bear

10 – Dandy

11 – Otter

12 – Queen

A: What did you get today?

B: Genderqueer femmetype dudebro

A: Tough one.

B: Nah, I’m going to totally rock it. You?

A: Agender sophisticate dragon.

B: Nice.

*************

* That said, the next person who says a building is “accessible without looking all disabled or hospital like” gets whapped upside the head (gently but effectively) with a soft, non-fatal, but memorable wheelchair part.

** I’m a linguistics major and happy to talk about how language shapes thought — I wrote a thesis on it! — so ask at your peril!

So what does your city’s glossy, boosterish magazine rate in its best-of issue?

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Best new restaurant?  Best manicure?  Best dog park?  Denver’s 5280 has all that, and:

Image: Page from 5280 magazine "Top of the Town: Shopping" listing best marijuana retailer.

 

 

The Pioneer – a restaurant/access review

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A divey bar with excellent food and access to the roof deck – what could be better?!

Tim and I have been coming to The Pioneer for a couple of years now. It’s not far from our house and had a nice patio where you could chill with good drinks and snacks in Colorado’s dry summer air.

It’s a college bar – hence the name, after the University of Denver Pioneers – but if you go early enough, you won’t be overwhelmed with students and it has terrific Colo/Mex food – far better than the décor would suggest. And the margaritas are fantastic – so fantastic that I only go there on my bike.

Image: photo of purple girl's bike locked to railing around patio in previous photo.

Sometime last year, we noticed that they were adding a roof deck on top of the patio. “Oh well,” we sighed, “I’m sure it won’t be accessible, but then it’s an old building and we can still drink margaritas on the patio.”

This week we’re on staycation, chilling at home, getting various house-related things accomplished, avoiding work email, and — when the mood strikes us — wandering up to The Pioneer in the middle of the afternoon.  We settled in at a patio table and then, just for the heck of it, asked if they had an elevator.

“Yes.”

Huh?

“Yes, we do, but someone needs to find the key.”  I was so blown away by the fact that they’d installed an elevator that I did not stop to comment on the fact that it would be great if their disabled customers could use it independently.

Morgan — our extremely friendly & helpful waiter — found a key and, well, “elevator” turned out to be a mild exaggeration.  Here is the door to the “elevator” on the roof deck.

Image: photo of the door to an open-air wheelchair lift.

And the, um, view from the “elevator” at the roof deck level:

Image: View from top of open air wheelchair lift toward the houses beyond the roof deck.

Tim:  “Am I almost up?”

Me:  “Yes, if by ‘almost’ you mean ‘about halfway.'”

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Once we got there, we were glad we’d asked, and so very glad The Pioneer had installed an “elevator.”

Image: left side - a bar under an awning; right side - picnic tables with umbrellas. A white man in a flowered shirt and using a wheelchair sits at one of the tables.

Short restaurant review:  I had the goat cheese quesadillas — they were spectacular.   Tim had the veggie burrito (shhhh don’t tell) with mushrooms, poblanos, and potatoes.  Also really really good.  And margaritas all around.  And you canNOT beat the view:

Image: view over the railing of the roof deck to a 7-Eleven store.

Seriously, as a restaurant we can walk/roll to and stumble/weave home from, with delicious food and a friendly staff, we love the Pioneer.  Slightly less sarcastic photo of the view looking south:

Image: panoramic view of roof deck.

And of course, The Pioneer himself:

Image: larger-than-life-sized figure of a "pioneer" a white guy with a beard and a DU sweatshirt, holding a stein of beer in one hand. His arms are open to the roof deck and he is smiling.

 

Because “back the f**k off” would be impolite.

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Our yard has a long expanse of fence that faces a fairly busy road.  The fence was in need of upkeep before our recent wind and hail storms, and is now looking pretty dilapidated.

Image: a street runs along the right side of the photo; on the left side, a green area bordered by a wooden fence which is sagging out into the green area next to the street.

We’ve scheduled a handyman, but we were busy and he was busy and one thing after another . . . he’s set to fix it on July 29.  But the fence was getting a lot of, um, neighborly commentary, so I decided on a bit of fence art:

Image: a street runs along the left side of the photo; on the right side, a green area bordered by a wooden fence which is sagging out into the green area next to the street. A white sign is visible tacked to the fence near the broken area.

Image: wooden fence with a sign consisting of three pieces of white paper stapled to it.

 

 

Fence Art 2 p 2

Text of signs:  “art installation: ‘waves of wood’ — symbolizing the transient nature of the material world, the multiplicity of human consciousness, and our hope for the future.”  A text box at the bottom reads, “In other words, the fence broke, we were focused on other things and procrastinated calling the handyman, who is busy for the next few weeks, but will be around to fix it soon.”

Not too transgressive, but at least I crack myself up!

Puppy action photo

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In trying to get this photo

Image: photo of golden retriever puppy with yogurt on her nose

I got this one first, which I was going to discard but which I’ve decided I sort of like:

 

Image: blurry photo of golden retriever puppy trying to lick yogurt off her nose.

 

 

July 4th Thoughts from a Patriotic Nerd

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Image: head and shoulders of Bald Eagle with head cocked to the left staring into the camera.

Photo credit: American Bird Conservancy http://www.abcbirds.org/newsandreports/botw/bald_eagle.html

  • The US is an amazing country.  I love being an American for the reasons I toss out here and many more.
  • The primary reason the US is an amazing country is that we have written into our constitution and laws  — and our deepest sense of who we are  —  the ability to continue to make this a better country.  The things that make us great scientists, entrepreneurs, innovators, dreamers, and kickstarters make us a great country:  we are constantly trying to figure out better ways to organize and govern ourselves.
  • And along the way, we are completely free to tell one another — and the government — how completely wrongheaded everyone else’s ideas are.
  • Our history is just as full of triumphs, failures, good, evil, brilliance, stupidity, compassionate people, and flaming assholes as you’d expect when a group of humans gets together to try to accomplish something.  The same people who wrote the Declaration owned slaves.  While we were being a beacon to a world of refugees and immigrants, we were discriminating against them in housing and employment.  And our European foreparents — along with the rest of the white First World — did deplorable things to the people who were already in the countries we decided to make our own a couple hundred years ago.
  • But one of the things I love the most is that we can say these things.  We can point out that the Constitution itself was flawed from the start and that we had to fight a war to fix that.  And that we are continuing to try — in fits and starts — to be fairer to all Americans.
  • The statement “America is the greatest country” and other forms of American exceptionalism don’t make any sense to me.  It’s the greatest country for me and evidently for millions of others who both live here and want to live here.  But for us to tell a world full of people that it’s a greater country than their respective countries seems like a fairly incoherent overgeneralization.
  • Same with knee-jerk American denigration.  What are you denigrating?  Our government?  Which part?  The part of the DOJ that’s justifying solitary confinement?   Or the part that’s figuring out how to ensure that we can all vote, marry, shop, and hold  jobs without discrimination?  Republicans?  Democrats?  Us?  Me?
  • Ultimately, as Dr. King said, “the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”  When I’m disappointed in a Supreme Court decision — as I have been fairly often recently — I remember that it took us 58 years to go from  Plessy v. Ferguson to Brown v. Board of Education but only 17 years to go from Bowers v. Hardwick to Lawrence v. Texas, and just another ten to United States v. Windsor.  For every

Image: Protesters (a white male adult and possibly light-skinned black child) holding signs that say "Thank God for Dead Soldiers," "Sin and Shame not Pride" and "You're Going to Hell."

there’s a

A woman dressed as an angel with large wings covered with white sheets standing next to others dressed similarly.

or even more important

Image: Protesters holding signs reading "Homo Sex is Sin." They are behind a police line. In the foreground, a white man dressed as Jesus Christ holds a sign saying "I'm not with these guys." Another counterprotester holds a sign pointing to one of the protesters that says, "Secretly Gay."

and

Image: Protester holding a sign that reads "God Hates Fags." To his right, another protester holds a sign with an arrow pointing to the first guy and the words "Fuck This Guy."

and

Image: An older white man wears a t-shirt that reads "You Deserve Hell." Next to him, a younger white man holds a sign that reads, "You can't choose to like dick but you can choose to be one. For example" and an arrow pointing to the guy in the You Deserve Hell t-shirt.

showing that Americans and our sense of humor will always prevail.

So Happy Random Patriotic Rambling Day from ThoughtSnax!

 

 

 

Extra bonus Father’s Day waffle photo

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Image: older white man in a flowered shirt sitting at an outdoor restaurant table, smiling with his arms outstretched. On the table in front of him is a plate of waffles and bacon, with ice cream on top.

My father-in-law Denver Fox celebrates Father’s Day by ordering*

Image: cropped photo of menu item: "Bananas Foster Waffle: Buttermilk Waffle, Banana Rum Caramel Sauce, Pecans, Pecanwood Bacon"

with a side of whiskey brickle ice cream.  Because Father’s Day!

Tim and I had an amazing omelet with a crawfish pepper sauce.

None of us ordered but all of us were entertained by

Image: cropped photo of menu item: "Gator Benedict: Alligator Sausage, Johnny Cakes, Marinated Green Tomatoes, Poached Eggs, Hurricane Hollandaise, House Potatoes."

All at Fourteen Seventy-Two on South Pearl Street in Denver.

******

* I had to find a way to include the name of the dish, because I kept reading it “Bananas Foster Wallace.”  You too, right?

Happy [Grand] [Step] Fathers’ [-in-law] Day!

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With love and appreciation for all that they taught me and the ways they enriched my life, and sadness for those no longer with us.

Dad in Beijing in 1981.

Image: Caucasian man standing in Tien An Men Square in Beijing in front of the iconic building from the Forbidden City with a giant portrait of Mao Tse Tung.

Grandfather Clarence Blau (and his granddaughter) in 1992.

Image: photo of an older white many in a linen jacket and open colar white shirt and a white woman in her 30s with short dark hair also wearing a linen shirt.

Grandfather Clen Robertson with brother Bruce Robertson at Bruce’s college graduation in 1984.

Image: An older white man in a suit and tie who is wearing a graduation mortar board. Standing next to him is a younger white man in a graduation cap and gown wearing the older man's fedora.

Step-father David North on the occasion of his 85th birthday earlier this year with my Mom doing one of their favorite things:  exploring an interesting new restaurant.

Image: older white couple. Woman on the left wearing a plaid scarf; man in the right with a full white beard and wire-framed glasses.

 

Father-in-law Denver Fox this past Easter, which we celebrated in the traditional fashion of being the least hip people at the Denver Biscuit Company.  (Thus the cigarette machine in the photo relates to DBC’s hipster status and not to any bad habits of my father-in-law.)

Image: photo of older white man in a blue fleece and yellow shirt; his glasses are hooked over the neck of the fleece.

Extra bonus dad:  my brother Bruce with my niece.

Image: white man in his 40s wearing sunglasses, a sports coat and an open-collar shirt; next to him is a white girl with long light brown hair.

I am so very blessed.