The shop’s owner, . . . [stated] that he has a strong stance toward the biblical view of marriage between one man and one woman.
I’m wondering if Mr. Phillips checks the Biblical-compliance status of his other customers. Does he ask his one-man/one-woman couples if they’ve had sex before the marriage. Awkward! Adultery and coveting of neighborhood wives? Also awkward! Theft? Does he do a criminal background check? How about honoring mom and dad? He needs to check on that, too, right?
This falls solidly within the black letter of the Anti-Butthead Act’s mandate: “Don’t be a Butthead.” Or, in the words of the colleague from whose Facebook post I blatantly stole this idea, “Just make the fucking cake, you dope!”
Love that it only has 837 likes, suggesting (1) that rank and file Colorado Republicans are not as bloodthirsty as their party; (2) that Colorado Republicans are so tech unsavvy that they aren’t on or don’t know how to use Facebook; or (3) that Colorado Republicans aren’t awake before 9:00 on a Sunday.
Since I’m a gmail & Google Docs user, I signed up for Google +, immediately connected with six people, and am never motivated to check it once I’ve caught up with my peeps on Facebook. Apparently neither is anyone else. So Google dug deep into its vaunted stockpile of information about me — law nerd browsing habits, clothing orders from LL Bean and Lands End, Lifehacker addiction — and sent the following email designed to lure me back to Google +:
Uh, no. Thanks. Really, I’ll pass on another time sink, this one devoted to Victoria Justice’s new favorite hat, Britney Spears, and some random dude I’ve never heard of.