Here are things that are reasonable to include in an email signature block:
- Your name.
- Your title (1 line max; more than that and you have a megalomania problem).
- Your company name and possibly a *small* logo.
- Your address (3 lines max; I don’t need to know the name of your building).
- Your phone number (1 line; no one uses a fax machine; join the 21st century! And no one uses TTY – learn to send/receive video relay).
- Your company’s website and possibly one or two other social media sites (e.g. Twitter).
Things that are not OK and just end up making any email chain a total pain in the ass to scroll through:
- Your email address. You’re emailing me, you dork! I have your email address.
- Giant, complex, byte-hungry logos.
- Assertions that the content is privileged, confidential, top secret, need-to-know basis only, destroy after reading. The circumstances and participants will determine this; not magic words.
- Long-winded ass-covering language that the email does not contain legal advice unless it does and it really doesn’t contain tax advice unless it does.
- Delusional requests to delete the email if you are not the intended recipient.
- Lectures on thinking about the environment before printing the email. These always make me want to print 100 copies of it and then burn them to generate additional greenhouse gases.
- Anything that moves.
grumpy old woman email goddess has spoken. Any questions?
Just snorted an entire venti pike roast out my nose
I just snorted an entire Starbucks Venti Pike Roast out my nose. Friggin’ hilarious and so true. I especially love the admonishment not to print the e-mail. Really? How else can I get through all my e-mails? My secretary prints them all out and puts them on my desk every morning. I just wish I could figure out how to print my text messages.
Much as I hate the instructions to think about the environment, I have to ask: what century are you living in? Do you reply to these pieces of paper using a quill pen or a telegraph machine? IIRC, you were at the cutting edge of the Palm Pilot revolution — and now you’re printing emails?
C’mon sis. I know it’s only, uh what time is it in Denver? Um, um, never mind. Can’t figure it out. It’s early. You need to drink more coffee before responding to comments. I was kidding!
Ha! I’m so relieved. Sorry for the humor glitch!
Grumpy old, I mean email goddess, Can I put my skype address?
Hmmm let me consult the Grumpy Old Manual. Yes! I think that would fall under “social media” and thus be a permitted use. 🙂