Author Archives: Amy Farr Robertson

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About Amy Farr Robertson

Civil Rights Lawyer. Dog Lover. Smartass.

The remodel begins (cue “Jaws” music).

Against all of the sage advice of my brother and sister-in-law, we are undertaking a remodel of our house.  We’ll get a new kitchen, I’ll get a new bathroom, the entire house will get new paint, and we may avoid dying a gory death at the hands of our basement.

We always knew that a previous owner had seriously overestimated his handyperson abilities, resulting in charming features like The Cardboard Wall and The Wood Paneling from Hell. These monstrosities lived in the basement, though, and since it’s inaccessible, we mainly interact with it when I do laundry or putter in the many boxes of documents I salvaged from my Dad’s house in 1997.  Very occasionally we have house guests who stay in the bedroom down there; understandably, not many have stayed twice.

Because we largely ignore our basement, it wasn’t until the remodel demo crew started taking apart the basement “walls” that we learned just how bad it was.

Instead of taking dramatic before

Image: cave entrance

and after

Image:  garish mansion

remodel photos, I thought I would take pictures of a couple of the more startling hacks.

Image:  close up of electrical casing attached by bent nails to hacked up 2x4

Image:  close up of several layers of pieces of wood nailed together - and splitting -- on the side of a wall.

Image:  several layers of pieces of wood nailed together - and splitting -- on the side of a wall.

The guy demo’ing the basement remarked, of one amateurishly framed wall, that we were lucky the ceiling had not fallen in.

As if on cue, the level of entropy here generally is going through the roof.  It’s like the house knows help is on the way, and is shedding its old skin.  The vent in my office is coming apart.

Image:  an old metal heating grate, taped to the wall with green duct tape, held open with a wire coat hanger.

The bricks next to the garage, slated for repointing,* collapsed just a little yesterday.

Image:  Close up of 5 or 6 bricks with mortar attached, on the ground next to a brick wall.

And in a piece of sympathetic entropy, our toaster died today. I think we’ll soon be huddled in the middle of the living room, cooking over a fire made from burning our furniture.

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*Whatever that is.  Our contractor says it authoritatively when I ask for the bricks to look better, so I’m guessing it’s a procedure for making bricks look better.

When Florida Police Used Mug Shots of Black Men as Target Practice, Clergy Responded with #UseMeInstead – QR Blog Editor | God’s Politics Blog | Sojourners.

The effort was “motivated by our service to Christ and his call to love our neighbors,” Gonnerman told The Post.

“We initially started thinking if a whole lot of us, in our clergy collar and worship attire, sent our photos to them, it would make a really powerful statement,” Rev. Kris Totzke, a pastor in Texas, told The Post. “Then, it really snowballed, and we got people all over the country and of all different faiths.”

 

“Assisted” Suicide, Prologue

Compassion and Choices and Flowers and Rainbows,* aka Big Suicide,** is pushing bills  to permit people to kill themselves legally.  Not all people, just certain disabled people in danger of dying — and thus living? — in an undignified way.  They’re pushing this in Colorado and it will not surprise you to learn that I’ll have more to say about this when I’m not barreling into a day full of actual work-related tasks.

As a prologue, I leave you with this juxtaposition, which greeted me in my Facebook feed this morning.

Image:  Facebook feed with links by Stephen Drake and Dian Coleman to an article entitled "Opposing An Assisted Dying Law," and immediately below, a link by Prison Legal News to an article entitled, "CIA killed prisoners, made it look like suicide."

More to come.  Meanwhile, the source for calling bullshit on Big Suicide is the excellently Monty-Python-named Not Dead Yet.****

Update:  Not Dead Yet Colorado now has its own website.*****

******

* OK, it’s Compassion and Choices, but they used to be the Hemlock Society, which was at least honest about the fact that they are a bunch of privileged intellectuals who want to be able to off themselves in a philosophically elegant fashion.  Then they focused-grouped the name, I guess, and are now Compassion and Choices, two random nouns meant to make you feel good about them while not really knowing exactly what they do.

** If we can have Big Pharma, Big Agriculture, and Big Sugar,*** why not Big Suicide?

*** Actually, this turns out to be a Canadian blues band, and not a bad one, actually.   The unexpected benefits of blogging.

****  Best. Logo. Ever.

Image:  Logo:  Not Dead Yet -- the Resistance.

***** And badass logo:

Image:  Not Dead Yet logo superimposed on the Colorado state flag.

Weaver’s Badass Automotive

We have the immense good fortune to live two blocks from an excellent mechanic.  I never thought of it before we moved in, but this is the sort of thing that should feature on real estate ads.  Close to schools?  Shops?  Restaurants?  Who cares!  You can drive there.  Nothing beats the ability to drop your car at the mechanic and walk home.

But Weaver’s Automotive and U-Haul is cool for many other reasons, including the fact that Tom Weaver has, on many occasions, examined some perceived problem in my car and returned it to me with the reassurance that nothing is wrong.  What’s more, he has somehow managed to do this without making me feel like the automotive incompetent that I truly am.  He has, from time to time, walked over (or sent someone over) to our house to rescue me from my automotive incompetence.  I’m confident that the 1988 Honda got many more years of life from living two blocks from Weaver’s.

But I’m blogging this today because

Image:  Man standing in front of a gas station door, wearing shorts and a short-sleeved shirt.  The man is white with brown hair and a goatee.

this is how Tom is dressed, every workday I’ve ever seen him, including our Wednesday morning dog-walk when it was several degrees below zero.  (This photo is a dramatic re-enactment, as I didn’t have my camera with me on Tuesday.   It was taken on Friday morning, when it was a balmy 20.)  For the record, I was in triple-layers, including snow pants, and even Saguaro was wearing boots.  But there was Tom, working around the U-Haul trucks on site, in his trademark shorts.

So if you live near DU and need a good mechanic — or need your U hauled — definitely check out Weaver’s Badass* Automotive.

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* WordPress’s spell check still doesn’t think this is a word.  After blogging with me for three and a half years, you’d think it would have learned.

 

Tenderfoot Puppy

Image:  Golden retriever dog with dog-sized snow boots on his paws.

Saguaro refused to go out in the below-zero snow in his bare paws.  Much happier in boots.

Image:  close up of dog paws in dog boots.

Photobomb by Holly’s paw.  She’s my toughdog — no boots required!

One of these is not like the other, part II

In an earlier post, I compared this [still living] white twerp who likes to march around with a [real, loaded] shotgun with the [now dead] black 12-year-old with a [toy] gun.

I don’t have a specific person to compare to the white dude described below; all I can offer are statistics like these showing massively higher arrest rates for Blacks in possession of marijuana, even though more whites use pot.

Image:  Bar chart showing percentage of 18-to-25-year-olds who used marijuana in the past year (2001-2010), showing that the percentage of whites was consistently several percentage points higher than the percentage of blacks.

and

Image:  Bar chart showing arrest rate per 100,000 for marijuana possession (2001-2010), showing a consistenly much higher number (500-700) for blacks compared to whites (around 200).

But  Ex-NASCAR driver somehow avoids jail after leading police on a three-state, 150 mph chase – The Washington Post.

Walker, who was cited in St. George, Utah, in 2013, after leading police on a chase that started in Nevada and went through Arizona, pleaded guilty to two felony counts of failure to stop for an officer and possession of a controlled substance. Even more unbelievable, Walker was also cited for impaired driving, possession of drug paraphernalia, including methamphetamine and marijuana, and having an open container of alcohol — vodka! — in his BMW. Oh yeah, and there was also nearly a car-jacking at attempt, according to one of the officers in pursuit.

 

Why do mornings still get darker after the winter solstice?

BBC News – Why do mornings still get darker after the winter solstice?.

I’ve always wondered/grumbled about this; now I know.*

I’m declaring a new holiday called Nerd Solstice — or Nerdstice:  when the sun finally does start rising earlier.   The next Nerdstice is January 12, 2015.  I’m still working on proper celebratory rites — though I’m certain it will involve coffee — and of course on insisting that everyone else wish me a Happy Nerdstice.

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* Read the article.  I don’t really “know” it in the sense that I can re-explain it.  I “know” it in the sense that I read an article about it that more or less made sense while I was reading it.

The FoxRob Christmas/Chanukah/Festivus/New Year Tree

Of course

Image: coffee cup ornament

From our neighbors’ Hawaiian vacation

Image: Hawaiian dancer ornament with text Mele Kalikimaka

From my Dad (of course!):

Image:  Lobster and life jacket ornaments

To celebrate our southwestern holiday season:

Image:  chili pepper ornament

I think this started out as a Golden Retriever Angel, but over time the wings snapped off, so now it’s more like Golden Retriever in PJs.

Image:  ornament consisting of Golden Retreiver in baggy green gown.

And of course of course:

Image:  Denver Broncos jersey ornament

Happy Everything You’re Celebrating Whenever You’re Celebrating It!

I converted to Word.

It finally happened:  I converted from WordPerfect to Word.  Like my father, I was an early-adopter-never-let-goer.   I first worked on a commercial word processing program in Taiwan in 1984, when I was a translator at Lee & Li and learned the proprietary Wang word processing system.  (IIRC, Swarthmore in 1983 had a student-created system available on terminals in the computer center.  It was a huge improvement over my Smith-Corona and Wite-Out strips, and I wrote my thesis on it when I could reserve time.  Still didn’t top my Dad’s late 1970s adoption — and never-let-go-tion — of the Lexitron.)

I came back from Taiwan to go to law school in 1985 and acquired the then top-of-the-line approximately-the-size-of-a-lawnmower IBM PC.  I had heard that a program called MultiMate mimicked the Wang program, so I was determined to buy and install it.  My mother — thanks, Mom! — talked me out of that and into WordPerfect.  Thus began a 29-year relationship that only ended this year with my inevitable assimilation to the Borg:  Microsoft Word.

Top reasons for assimilation:

4.  Annoyed co-counsel (“the formatting in the Word version is all effed up!”)

3.  Awkward emails to opposing counsel (“we draft in WordPerfect, but send us your changes on the pdf version and we’ll incorporate them”).

2.  Track changes!!!!

But my favorite feature is

1.  Comment boxes.

I started using them as they are supposed to be used:  to expound on tracked changes or make a general comment on a section of text.  Now they’ve become sort of like “The Word” in the Colbert Report:

Image: Screen grab from the Colber Report with Stephen Colbert making air quotes while the word "Truthiness" appears off to the side.

a way of letting my id come out while drafting a brief, one that entertains me as I write but that is easy to delete and sanitize before I file.

Image:  a Word comment box reads, "I need a better word.  "Revealed to be bullshit" didn't seem quite right."

or even

Image:  Word comment box that reads "Ha ha!  Fuck you [opposing counsel]!"

I miss WordPerfect’s “reveal codes” feature, and I still maintain that outlining in Word is a random-number-and-indentation-generator, Image: Word comment box reading, "But I still call Julia Campins in confused desperation at least once a week."but I’m generally adapting to the change.