This is brilliant!
However, I do have to point out that we were there first!
(Cross-posted at CREECblog.)
Since the recent attempt to sell the Rockies on Craigslist* and my attempt to convince my brother to undertake a humanitarian venture capital mission to purchase the team have both apparently failed, I’m forced to put my fandom up for adoption.
Born a Washington Senators fan. Orphaned in 1971. Short foster team relationships with the Baltimore Orioles, Richmond Braves, and Minnesota Twins. Genetic fandom of St. Louis Cardinals. Adopted by the Colorado Rockies in 1995. Abandoned in 2014.
Can explain the infield fly rule, but cannot tell one pitch from another. Willing to bring ancient baseball mitt to games. Prefers high-scoring home-run-intense games to pitchers’ duels. Needs playing field with good views and decent beer. Will not do “the wave.” Will check scores on CBS Sports app during dinner when result actually matters. Prefers team with owner who gives a shit, preferably two, and sufficient front-office talent to spell players’ names correctly. Willing to wear team colors, paint toenails to match. Currently in possession of and routinely wears Elway jersey and old-logo Broncos sweatshirt. Not afraid of face paint for playoffs.
In other words, loyal to team that earns it.
Please contact the Fan Adoption Agency to set up a homestudy.
* Craigslist took down the ad, but Westword got the screenshots.
Best new restaurant? Best manicure? Best dog park? Denver’s 5280 has all that, and:
Our yard has a long expanse of fence that faces a fairly busy road. The fence was in need of upkeep before our recent wind and hail storms, and is now looking pretty dilapidated.
We’ve scheduled a handyman, but we were busy and he was busy and one thing after another . . . he’s set to fix it on July 29. But the fence was getting a lot of, um, neighborly commentary, so I decided on a bit of fence art:
Text of signs: “art installation: ‘waves of wood’ — symbolizing the transient nature of the material world, the multiplicity of human consciousness, and our hope for the future.” A text box at the bottom reads, “In other words, the fence broke, we were focused on other things and procrastinated calling the handyman, who is busy for the next few weeks, but will be around to fix it soon.”
Not too transgressive, but at least I crack myself up!
Fundamentalist Christian group American Family Association is urging members not to accept any mail postmarked with the U.S. Postal Service’s newly released Harvey Milk stamp, the first U.S. stamp to feature an openly gay elected official.
In related news, the American Family Association announced plans to put its fingers in its ears and say “LALALALALALALALALA” until the 21st Century goes away.
Also not featured on “Cosmos”:
By the way, #4 comes from the site www.bigmyth.com which has awesome animations of some of the world’s creation stories.