I drove from Boston to Portland (almost) without directions, got lost, swore, got back on Rte 1A, and applied suntan lotion by pouring it on the dashboard and then daubing it on my face.
Also so glad I get to spend the weekend with his brother (my uncle) and his family — for my awesome cousin’s wedding shower. He’d be so proud, Carey!!
Miss you, Dad!
First, a confession: I am the farthest thing from a cyclist.* I own a clunky purple bicycle with upright handle bars and two scruffy panniers. I ride not in spandex but in dorky jeans with one cuff rolled up or — even more fashionistically — rubber-banded. My cycling is limited to a one mile radius of my house, and consists 90% of biking to meet with my co-counsel at the University of Denver law school (.5 miles) in good weather.**
I’m providing this long-winded disclaimer because I’m about to go ballistic in defense of cycling.
WTF is it about cycling that makes conservatives so irrational? I mean, more irrational than usual.*** I blogged earlier about one Dorothy Rabinowitz who believed that a privately-sponsored bike-share program was a totalitarian plot to “begrime” the city of New York.
After Ms. Rabinowitz was widely ridiculed — including a Daily Show segment — she responded. As I’m sure you’ll be shocked to learn, the rationality quotient was not noticeably higher than in her earlier rant. Ask the police, she said, “[t]hey know the . . . helpless screams.” Helpless screams? Of bicycle victims? As my cousin Sproule pointed out — in my first guest post!**** —
of the 136 pedestrians killed in NYC in 2012, NONE were reportedly killed by cyclists, but all of the 155 pedestrians and cyclists killed in NYC traffic in the same year (15,465 were injured) were killed by motorists
But Sproule is probably just one of those cyclists “careening down the sidewalk in all of his splendid self-affirming environmental helpist mood . . .” “Helpist?” “Helpist???” You know when a conservative puts an “ist” on the end of a word, that means it’s a bad thing, so we’ve reached the apotheosis of Randian libertarianism, I guess, when helping is a bad thing.
“Hi. Can I give you a hand with that?”
“Back off, helpist scum! Stop trying to spread your insidious helpism. It’s a slippery slope to thoughtfulism and considerationism.”
But The Divine Ms. R isn’t alone in her irrational anti-bike freak out. Apparently L.A. is thinking of creating bike lanes. Cue right wing talk radio:
Look at these bicyclists, as if they belong to a bizarre cult that worships two-wheel transportation, not a traditional God, not Jesus or Allah, or Jehova, not the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, they’re like a pagan group, but they don’t even worship trees. Or nature. But they worship two-wheel transportation. And they have their vestments that they wear, their skintight brightly colored clothing, that you don’t see anywhere else, just like in church … you only see this kind of clothing when they’re on the bike in the midst of their worship. They want to be in a special cult.
…
This is oppressive. I mean, we’re being held hostage by a minority. It’s the tyranny of the micro-minority here.
Luckily
there comes a tipping point where drivers are going to stop putting up with this garbage. Toll lanes. Carpool lanes. Bike lanes. Everything but lanes for cars where we can drive freely.
That’s right, let’s stop the fascistic imposition of bike lanes and carpool lanes on our naturally-occurring, capitalistically-financed, individualistically-maintained, Ayn-Rand-approved, wtf-are-you-talking-about public fucking streets. We made a series of public decisions that we would all pay to create and maintain streets and highways for these assholes and their cars (and, um, my car too – thanks!), that we’d pay police to monitor them, and that we’d all get to breathe their exhaust whether we like it or not. We’re now making public decisions to accommodate and promote other, less dangerous, less noxious forms of transportation, and it’s totalitarianism and hostage-taking?
What is it about bicycles that makes conservatives lose their shit? I think New York Magazine has the answer, in a helpful Venn diagram:
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*What’s the proper term here? I said “biker” once and was informed that that term is limited to big hairy guys on motorcycles. “Bicyclist” seems sort of formal. “Cyclist”? “Badass mofos on two wheels?”
** In bad weather, I somehow always find a good excuse to drive, which is especially embarrassing because large numbers of students drive from somewhere else in the Denver metro area, park at the end of our street, and walk to the school.
*** OK, maybe not as irrational as killing abortion doctors in the name of defending life, or preventing loving couples from getting married in the name of defending marriage. But pretty damn irrational.
**** I love guest posts! Wanna be a guest blogger? Just ask!
A bakery near Denver is refusing to make a cake for a same-sex couple. While this is covered by the state’s anti-discrimination laws, it would also be an excellent case for my proposed Anti-Butthead Act. According to the Denver Post,
The shop’s owner, . . . [stated] that he has a strong stance toward the biblical view of marriage between one man and one woman.
I’m wondering if Mr. Phillips checks the Biblical-compliance status of his other customers. Does he ask his one-man/one-woman couples if they’ve had sex before the marriage. Awkward! Adultery and coveting of neighborhood wives? Also awkward! Theft? Does he do a criminal background check? How about honoring mom and dad? He needs to check on that, too, right?
This falls solidly within the black letter of the Anti-Butthead Act’s mandate: “Don’t be a Butthead.” Or, in the words of the colleague from whose Facebook post I blatantly stole this idea, “Just make the fucking cake, you dope!”
by Sproule Love (in response to my last post about this WSJ video editorial).
I don’t know what’s worse – the giggling sycophantic interviewer opening with a gleeful update about a citibike user getting hit by an SUV, or how out of touch Rabinowitz is with New York. How is this woman in a position of power at a major news outlet, even the Journal? These gems from the video are at the top of my list:
Is that why the current golden era of cycling infrastructure in NYC took 30+ years of tireless advocacy and has resulted in a 20% decrease in traffic fatalities over the last 10 years? Is that why of the 136 pedestrians killed in NYC in 2012, NONE were reportedly killed by cyclists, but all of the 155 pedestrians and cyclists killed in NYC traffic in the same year (15,465 were injured) were killed by motorists, half of whom got no citation whatsoever, and only one of whom was charged with a serious crime?
To the citibike naysayers, I say don’t knock it ’till you try it, and I much prefer looking at the citiBike rack in my neighborhood over a line of parked cars. NYC is slowly restoring the balance of street use away from just cars, and the change is dramatic. I hope our next mayor doesn’t drop the ball.
New York City recently started a bike-share program. It’s my understanding that the program is sponsored by Citibank — a capitalist institution last time I checked — and that participation is voluntary, that is, no one is being forced by brownshirts to ride borrowed bicycles.
According to Wall Street Journal editorial board member Dorothy Rabinowitz, I may have this all wrong.*
As helpfully transcribed by Talking Points Memo:
“Do not ask me to enter the mind of the totalitarians running this government of the city,” Rabinowitz said when asked what she thought was the motivation behind the program.
“Look, I represent the majority of citizens. . . .The majority of citizens of this city are appalled by what has happened and I would like to say to people who don’t live in New York that this means something much more than the specifics of this dreadful program. It means: envision what happens when you get a government that is run by an autocratic mayor or other leader and a government before which you are helpless. We now look at a city whose best neighborhoods are absolutely begrimed, is the word, by these blazing blue Citi Bank bikes — all of the finest, most picturesque parts of the city. It is shocking to walk around the city to see how much of this they have sneaked under the radar in the interest of the environment.”
“Begrimed”? Is that even a word? And here is the scene that Ms. Rabinowitz finds begrimy:
There are plenty of things in NYC that might properly be called grimy — though it’s possible that Ms. Rabinowitz does not encounter any of them between the limo and the doorman — but this does not seem to satisfy any common language definition of the term.
What this is, of course, is another example of Conservative Linguistic Debasement: “totalitarian” simply means “something a conservative does not like.” It doesn’t have to relate to “a political regime based on subordination of the individual to the state and strict control of all aspects of the life and productive capacity of the nation especially by coercive measures.” It just has to piss off a conservative.
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* Having sat through most of the video editorial, I agree with James Fallows: “Henceforth when you read the Journal‘s editorials, I invite you to hear this voice, expression, and tone. . . . Onion writers, watch and weep.”
The EX-25 is a piece that goes between the camera body and the lens that permits you to take macro-like photos with an ordinary lens. It has the advantage over a true macro lens of being way less expensive, so I can goof around with this style of photography without investing a lot of money. Many of the reviews noted that you’ll probably want to use a tripod, and they appear to be correct. But, having just taken the device out of the box and put it on my camera, attaching the camera to a tripod would have required far more patience than I have. And a slightly greater depth of field would have brought more of the nostril into focus. I have a lot to learn — but this is going to be fun!
My grandfather, Arthur Clendenin (“Clen”) Robertson, became a soldier at the age of 37. That’s him, second from the right:
And on the far right of the back row here:
He tried to enlist following the bombing of Pearl Harbor but was turned down based on his age. From a letter to my Dad:
I then wrote Charlie Nelson, Chairman of Davidson County Draft Board no. 6 asking to be transferred from 4a[*] dependents to 1a., which was granted. I was inducted at Ft. Oglethorpe June 18, 1942, did basic training at Ft. McClellan, alabama; admitted to OCPS in September and to OCS at the Infantry School in Ft. Benning, graduating as a Second Lieutenant December 23, 1942.
He served from 1942 to 1946 — including a stint in the occupation government (“Office of Military Government”) in Wurttemberg-Baden — achieved the rank of Major, and received a number of commendations. From his official record:
According to the letter to my Dad, he also received the Croix de Guerre and the Legion d’Honneur from the French government for his service in that country. I knew very little of this when we traveled to France together in 1981. While there, he wore small colored bands in his lapel — called, I just learned, “lapel threads” — which turned out to be real conversation-starters and respect-generators among the French people we met.
Here are the Three Clendenins (Peter, Bruce, Clen) traveling in France in 1981. Can you tell Bruce has (1) a cold and (2) a bad attitude about driving around France in a small car with his father, grandfather, and sister?
Granddaddy’s military service provided a lifetime of interesting stories, deep respect for national service, and some of the weirdest political views I’ve ever encountered.** After he left the army, he got a master’s degree at Colorado College, and taught and tutored in various locations. He eventually retired to Wisconsin to fish,
and when he could not live alone in a cabin in the woods, re-retired to my father’s house to write the definitive but sadly unfinished history of the Alger Hiss case and argue with my Dad over the proper number of squares of paper towel appropriate for any given use. Here I am listening respectfully but skeptically to an in-depth, fully-researched, well-thought-out, utterly-off-the-wall political disquisition.
Miss you, Granddaddy, and thank you for your service.
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* A bit of research on Wikipedia suggests that he meant “3-A” which was the classification that permitted deferrals for men with dependents. 4-A was for men who had previously served which, to my knowledge, he had not. While it was very brave of him to change his draft status to serve, and I honor his service to our country, as a point of fact in 1941, he had dependents: my father and my uncle. He and my grandmother had divorced, and I suppose joint custody wasn’t quite as popular as it is now. Nothing’s ever simple.
** This will have to be the subject of a separate post. After Granddaddy passed in 1997, we had his mail forwarded to me. His political interests were such that he was on the mailing list of almost every fringe group on the far left and far right. And God knows who buys what mailing lists, because he just received — at my address — an offer for $10 off an Old Chicago pizza
In my newsfeed.
Love that it only has 837 likes, suggesting (1) that rank and file Colorado Republicans are not as bloodthirsty as their party; (2) that Colorado Republicans are so tech unsavvy that they aren’t on or don’t know how to use Facebook; or (3) that Colorado Republicans aren’t awake before 9:00 on a Sunday.
Following up on my post of a couple of days ago, I was very happy to learn that Gov. Hickenlooper granted an indefinite stay of execution to Nathan Dunlop. While I wish it had been a full commutation, this is a good result.
Hey, you guys! Check it out! We made Jezebel! OMG OMG!
Surprise, Surprise: Hollister Discriminates Against the Disabled
A federal judge has ruled that Hollister is in violation of the Americans with Disabilities Act. Hollister’s stores are supposed to resemble Southern California surf shacks. Most Hollister stores in the U.S. feature entrances that are built to look like front porches. Front porches with stairs. And that’s where the problem lies.
And UK’s Daily Mail, in a section with the unfortunate name “Femail,” as well as Salon, and The Gloss:
Hollister Spent Four Years Refusing To Accommodate People With Disabilities Because Of Course They Did
If you’ve ever been near a Hollister store, you know that it reeks of mildewy cologne spilt in a hot bathroom. But you also may know that its storefront is inaccessible to those with disabilities, as they are made to look like porches to “surf shacks,” stairs included (as you can see above). After a four-year class-action lawsuit against the company for discrimination, a judge has ruled that Hollister’s stores violate the Americans With Disabilities Act.
Thought Snax 