Another report from the frontlines of Stupid Lawyer Tricks.

My awesome co-counsel and all-around cool person Carrie Lucas was taking the deposition of our opponent’s expert.  Opposing counsel was objecting to pretty much every question, which was getting tiresome not to mention sort of coachy.  Carrie decided to call him on it.  Take it away, Carrie!

(BY MS. LUCAS)  [Reads verbatim from expert’s opinion about a document in the case.] Do you know which document that is?

[OPPOSING COUNSEL]:  Objection, beyond the scope and compound.

MS. LUCAS:  I’m trying to understand how this is beyond your scope, Mr. [Opposing Counsel], given that I just quoted from her report.  So can you please explain that objection so that I have an opportunity to try to fix it, given that I quoted from her report?

[OPPOSING COUNSEL]:  I’ll withdraw the objection.

MS. LUCAS:  Thank you.

[OPPOSING COUNSEL]:  Actually, I’ll withdraw the beyond the scope.  It’s still vague and compound.

MS. LUCAS:  While she’s looking, if you could help me out on the vague objection, because I’m also not understanding how asking her to identify the document that supports her position is vague.

[OPPOSING COUNSEL]:  It’s vague in that it’s compound.  You’re asking her to look for the document to support her position for at least two or three different compositions.

MS. LUCAS:  That would be a compound objection, not a vague objection, but I am happy to have all of the parts, if she can find any document that will support any of that.

Unfortunately, TextMap does not have an annotation option for “snorted my seltzer into the keyboard while reviewing.”

Photo dump from the Droid

Random cellphone photos that entertain me without actually being worthy of an entire blog post.

Let’s hear it for the First Amendment:

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Do these people know about revisions to the rules of professional conduct permitting brand names for law firms?

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We love The Belvedere where you can get pierogis and they have a beer named after an astronomer!

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So you can feel like a true carnivore when you eat your hamburger:

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Stay on the sofa or get off the sofa — it’s so hard to decide!

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In the DU Law School café.  Kids today have it so easy!

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A neighborhood bar offers a bit of advanced wine-pouring guidance:

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And finally, as a passionate avocado fan, I am always sort of annoyed that the Safeway thinks I need subtitles to figure out which avocado is ripe.

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We love our [office] ‘hood

The neighborhood around our office won Westword’s Best Neighborhood Shopping District – 2013!  We are unintentionally hip!

I was also very pleased to see that East Asia Garden won Best Chinese Restaurant.  First of all, it’s an encouraging sign of Denver’s maturing food tastes that they’ve stopped giving the award to The Imperial, where white table cloths and fancy décor distract mainstream dining Denver from the gloppy, tasteless, Americanized food.

But more than that, East Asia Garden has some seriously badassly keepin it real Chinese dishes.  Like

East Asia Garden

and

East Asia Garden 02

and the best damn dumplings in Denver.

Update – I don’t even understand the grammar of this poster, yet since it’s in our office ‘hood, I am hip by association.  Um, right?

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Groundhog Day in the Taco Bell case

Remember the movie Groundhog Day, when Bill Murray wakes up every morning and has to relive the same day?  That’s what it’s like to litigate our case against Taco Bell.  For example, Taco Bell has argued in three different motions — in 2007, 2009, and 2011 — that our case is moot.  The court rejected the argument each time, but I’m guessing that won’t prevent them from making the same argument again.

groundhogdayclock

The latest example is Taco Bell’s argument that, because our complaint listed only a handful of the barriers at issue, they have no idea — ten years into the litigation — what the case is about.

When they made this precise argument two years ago, we pointed out the many opportunities they had had to learn about the barriers at issue, including:

  • The plaintiffs’ 2003 depositions;
  • The plaintiffs’ 2003 declarations, filed with the Court;
  • The 2005-2006 comprehensive, collaborative, court-sanctioned, survey in which a jointly-selected expert visited all of the stores and reported to both parties the barriers he found.  (Spoiler alert:  there were a lot of barriers!); and
  • The 2010 list of barriers we prepared and filed with the Court.
    • Despite this wealth of information, Taco Bell’s 2011 brief claimed dramatically that

Taco Bell was forced to literally guess as to the precise nature of the alleged barriers that plaintiffs intended to challenge.

Literally guess?  Literally* guess?

In response, the Court held:

For [Taco Bell] to argue . . . that it was not placed on notice of the claimed violations because not all the barriers were listed in the [complaint], is to elevate form over substance.

Moeller v. Taco Bell Corp., 816 F. Supp. 2d 831, 852 (N.D. Cal. 2011).

But when we woke up on March 5, 2013, and found Taco Bell’s latest motion in our inboxes — claiming it was not “on notice” concerning the barriers in the case — well:

groundhogdayclock

So we have once again explained all of the opportunities that an observant attorney has had to perceive the barriers at issue, that is, all of the bullet points above along with a second round of plaintiffs’ depositions.

Any guesses when we’ll all stop waking up at 6:00 on February 2 and find redemption in the arms of Andie MacDowell or perhaps behind the wheel with Punxsutawney Phil?

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* I’m thinking this calls for a quick rendition of “I do not think that word means what you think it means.”  On the other hand, it is possible that Taco Bell’s attorneys had simply never read these documents and were, in fact, literally guessing.

Denver Post or The Onion: it’s hard to tell

One of my favorite Onion headlines is

Stereotypes Are a Real Time-Saver

I’m a busy guy. And, while I’d love to, I don’t have the time to get to know every person I encounter in the course of my daily life. So thank goodness I have a handy little device at my disposal that helps me know how to deal with just about anyone I come across: stereotypes. Yes, stereotypes are a real time-saver!

The Denver Post appears to have borrowed this crucial piece of wisdom to guide its journalistic standards.  In reporting the tragic death of Tom Clements, the Executive Director of the Colorado Department of Corrections, the Post added the following pieces of gratuitous, unsupported, speculation to its initial reports:

Clements’ death occurred a week after he denied a request by a Saudi national, Homaidan al-Turki, to serve out the remainder of a Colorado prison sentence in Saudi Arabia.

The article goes on for three paragraphs to describe the al-Turki case — citing no evidence outside the chronology to connect it to Clements’s murder — but does not offer any further gratuitous, unsupported, speculation concerning other individuals of, say, other races or affiliations.
Colorado corrections officials are investigating whether a paroled white-supremacist prison-gang member at the center of the investigation into the execution-style slaying of state prison chief Tom Clements was ordered by the gang to do a “hit,” a source told The Denver Post on Thursday.
No time, funding, or balls for real reporting?  Stereotypes are a real time-saver!
[Updated to note dates of DP articles.]

For the well-dressed mass killer

Am I the last one to notice that Woolrich doesn’t just sell plaid shirts and chinos, but clothing specially designed for concealed carry?*  I get that the world needs hunting clothes:  if you’re going to stalk Bambi through the north woods, you probably ought to layer up.  But concealed carry is about being prepared to take down your fellow human, stealthily.  That is, there is nothing remotely inoffensive about this.   The website is not subtle:

Woolrich concealed carry

Indeed, the “Elite Concealed Carry Chinos” — so not kidding! — have these specifications:

Concealed carry chinos

I’m thinking the “discreet carry options” make the “reinforced crotch” an important feature, lest the amateur concealed carrier shoot his or her balls off.  And when you’re through sowing deadly mayhem, you can just toss them in the washer!

I’m making stupid jokes about this, but it’s really not funny.  We’ve reached the point in our armed society where a major clothing retailer markets “tactical” attire for sneaking firearms into ordinary public settings.  The suburban dad in chinos at the movie theater or shopping mall may be concealing a Glock.  Also, the mass killer in chinos, indistinguishable from the suburban dad.

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* A bit of post-blog research reveals that the New York Times wrote about this back in April.  It only came to my attention because we get their catalog** and I was just about to order a couple of pairs of $6 fuzzy socks when I noticed the concealed carry category.

** Yes our taste in clothing is THAT bad.

“Feds Probe Denver for Violating Deaf Prisoner Rights” – what we’re up to at FoxRob World Headquarters

The Colorado Independent has an article up about our Scott case.  The journalist had previously written about our Ulibarri case, and was thus able to put Mr. Scott’s situation in this astonishing perspective:

Scott isn’t the first deaf prisoner whose disability has gone ignored by Denver’s jail. Even as the city failed to provide Scott with an interpreter, it was defending itself against a lawsuit brought on behalf of three other deaf prisoners – one of whom hanged himself in his cell. Shawn Vigil spent a month in jail without an interpreter before his suicide in 2005. The Sheriff’s Department knew Vigil was deaf but apparently didn’t take note that he was functionally illiterate and unable to understand a question on his intake form asking if he needed accommodations for his disability.

We’re hoping this lawsuit will finally get some effective policies in place for deaf people detained or incarcerated by the City and County of Denver.

Dad’s photo archive: a trip to Gaspé, Quebec

My Dad attended a summer camp — Camp Ironwood — in Harrison, Maine, which apparently took  a driving trip to Gaspé, Quebec

Harrison to Gaspe map

one summer in the (I’m guessing) 1940s.  Here are some of his photos.  Text is from his penciled comments on the back of each.

Dog cart:

PCR-188 dog cart in Gaspe, PQ

Percé Rock:

PCR-197 Perce Rock, Gaspe PQ

PCR-198 Perce Rock, Gaspe PQ

Fishing village:

PCR-202 fishing village

Fishing harbor drying nets:

PCR-219 fishing harbor nets drying

Cartful of dried cod:

PCR-220 cartful of dried cod outside Perce

And of course, Dad himself:

PCR-182

My father’s photo archive, part one of many.

I have finally started on the project of archiving and (selectively) scanning my father’s photographs.  He was an avid photographer, if by “avid” you mean “relentless.”  In a pre-digital age, when developing photos was costly and time-consuming, he would take massive numbers of similar photos.  I can’t remotely imagine what his archive would look like had he lived to own a digital camera.

His photos span his own teenage years in the late 40s and 50s to the years just preceding his passing in 1997.  From skinny ties

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to sideburns

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to grandfatherhood

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His equipment spanned the Minox to the Poloroid, but he really hit his stride in the disposable camera era.  I’m not sure he used a non-disposable camera after about 1990.

The organizing challenge is also more intense for more recent photos, that is, those taken after One Hour Photo began offering two-for-one prints.  Dad often got three- or even four-for-one, resulting in giant stacks of photos for each roll, or more frustrating, duplicate rolls scattered throughout the collection.

I should have taken a picture of the starting point:  three large (3’ x 3’ x 3’) boxes of unsorted photos — most stored in all of the variations on envelopes that developers used from the 40s to the 90s, but many loose photos and negatives as well.  I have now gone through all of the photos that remained in envelopes and more or less figured out their year or at least decade.  This process brought home the need for some sort of consistent way to organize them — and a search for what turns out to be a rare thing:  a no-frills way to store large numbers of photos.

Working hypothesis:  Damn you, scrapbookers!

A search for “photo envelopes” yielded sites willing to sell me heavy-duty envelopes just thick enough to mail one presumably very important photograph, but no envelopes sufficient to hold a roll of 36 (or 72 or 108) photos.  I moused around for a couple of days, and then hit our local Mike’s Camera to see if perhaps they sold in bulk the sort of envelopes you used to get your developed photos back in.*  They didn’t but the guy behind the counter recalled he’d purchased them in bulk back in the day when his store actually developed photos.  He had the name, no!, not the name, but he did have the 800 number.  And bless the internet, a search on the 800 number took me to the Mackay Mitchell Photopak company, which sells “print boxes,” 100 for $25.10, in two sizes.

Print box 1Print box 2

So, I figured, I had just been using the wrong term.  Clearly all I’d have to do would be to search on “print box” instead of “photo envelope” and I’d have a wide range of choices.  Not!  Here are typical results for “print box”:

Print box 3

print box 4

print box 5

And here’s where I blame scrapbookers:  it is apparently no longer acceptable to store photos in cheap, plain, buy-in-bulk envelopes or thin cardboard boxes.  They have to be archived — no, make that “curated”** — in something cute, expensive, and space-consuming.

I placed my bulk order with Mackay Mitchell.

This post took a sort of unexpected Andy Rooney turn, so I’ll wait til the next to start posting some of my Dad’s more remarkable photos.

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* Yes, I did that grammar on purpose.  Grotesque but sorta cool, no?

** It will not surprise you to learn that I’m planning a post on the overuse of the word “curate,” which has escaped its home in the museum and wandered off to cover any set of two or more things that someone has chosen to put side by side for any reason in any medium.  For example, “I curated my eggs and toast this morning.”  See!  How awesome is that?!

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be lawyers.

From a recent deposition.  “OC” is “opposing counsel.”

McSwain subpoena

To experience this enlightening bit of human interaction, I flew to San Francisco, stayed overnight, met with my expert, sat through an hour and a half deposition of which this exchange was actually one of the more productive, and flew home.

It was well worth the trip, though, because I got to hang with Silas and Lorenzo and their awesome parents.   Drawing!  Giggling!  Home-made pizza!  Law gossip!